Then again

Couldn't find wedding pics from my maternal grandparents' wedding. Some of my relatives said that they eloped -- it was during the war period and my mom became their firstborn in 1944. Then, my lola Amang and lola Daluz got married finally in church sometime in 1950 in Sta. Mesa. I still have to look for pics for the proof because I only have the scanned wedding contract and certificate.

I swear, weddings needed only a few witnesses and that was it. You were bound for life.

Nowadays, you need to go through so many people and documents to get married -- this is on top of the nice-to-haves that couples insist on having for their wedding day -- bubbles, fog machines, fireworks, etc. Couples nowadays need to compile their birth and baptismal certificates, some churches even require a CENOMAR (certificate of no marriage), pre-marriage seminars, dispensation (for mixed religion marriages), marriage license, some even opting for pre-nuptial agreements.

Traditionally in the Philippines, similar to other Asian countries, the groom's family pays for the wedding celebration. Modern brides opt to pay for their own wedding (split with her groom of course) to ensure that her wishes, wants and whines are granted (instead of the Mother-in-law's). :-)

I sometimes wonder how it is with our tribal countrymen -- is it easier? is there less hassle in getting married by a brook or on top of a mountain? does slaying a chicken mean a better marriage? Can't wait to witness different traditions in our different regions -- I hope I get invited to all types. hehe. I want to see the different wedding garments (chicken feathers perhaps?), ethnic wedding music, taste food apart from the usual breaded fish and steaks and fondant wedding cakes.

Hmmm. Will do some research on this and post them soon.

Then and then

Ah, finally found a smiling pic of my lolo and lola on their wedding day. They were happy after all. How could they not be? Even after the wedding, they were writing each other love letters. Imagine. Calling each other darling and honey in the 1940's. Gush.

10 things to do before your wedding

This is my paternal grandparents' wedding photo. I really don't know when this was taken (have to ask my dad for the exact wedding date). I've never even met my lola because she died of tuberculosis when my dad was only four years old.

Funny how sad they look in their wedding picture. Bawal ba talaga ngumiti nung 1930's? Well, I suppose this is the official/formal wedding picture that's why they were probably asked not to smile. I will never know the reason. My grandfather has been gone for a decade now and he was probably the only person who could've shed some light on this non-smiling photo.

Sepia.

In those days, this was the "in" thing probably. During my parents' wedding, it was mostly black and white. I'm not even sure how weddings were conducted then. But I'm pretty sure they didn't have AVPs or fireworks or bubble machines back then. Just probably a simple ceremony and celebration and a lifetime of togetherness. Gush.

They definitely never came across wedblogs and wedsites that had helpful hints (got this from a newlywed's site) for the soon-to-be newlyweds like:

1. Don't start your wedding planning without a budget. One of the most stressful elements to wedding planning usually is money. Make sure you decide up front how much your total wedding budget is going to be and who will be contributing and how much.

2. Don't spend more than your budget or what you can afford. Your wedding day is an important day, but it is only one day. You don't want to start your new life together by going into "serious" debt from your wedding expenses and being strapped with that debt for the next five years.

3. Don't rely upon oral agreements with vendors. Get everything in writing!

4. Don't try and do everything yourself. Planning a wedding can be a full time job in itself. So, don't try and take on such an enormous project alone, delegate as much as you can! When it comes to weddings, everyone loves to help, so let them!

5. Don't insist on having it your way all the time! Come to an agreement on the things that are less important.

6. Don't skimp on your photography. Your wedding day goes by so fast, and after it's over, all you'll have left is your memories and your pictures.

7. Don't get crazy over every detail. It can really take the pleasure out of the wedding planning process. I mean, will it really matter that the ribbons for the favors are baby blue instead of ice blue?

8. Don't forget to thank everyone involved in your wedding and those that gave you gifts. Also, don't let those thank you notes pile up. Send them out promptly after you receive a gift.

9. Don't overload yourself the day before your wedding. This is not the time to put together 200 favors. Try to do only one or two small tasks and leave the rest of the day to relax and pamper yourself.

10. Don't expect perfection for your wedding day. Expect a "terrific" day and set reasonable expectations. Never forget, the main goal is to get married.

I swear, love is beautiful. Eternal. But planning a wedding seems to get more complicated as the years go by. I wonder how weddings will be when I'm a grandmother?

source: www.usabride.com/wedplan/10_donts.html

Wedding love

I love weddings.

Real weddings. Weddings borne out of real love. Not those that are meant to solidify business relations of two families like common corporate mergers. To each his own but nothing beats a commitment ceremony and celebration ng dahil sa pag-ibig ( because of love). Those are weddings that make you giddy, sniffle and gush -- not necessarily in that order.


I have nothing against lavish weddings. If only for the couple's (or their parents') resources, the pomp and multimillion glamour that go into it, I love looking at the details. The flowers, the cake, music, the little delights that make a wedding celebration special -- smiles, father-of-the-bride tears, flickering candles. Sigh. Am really a romantic.

I love looking at wedding ceremony and reception pictures -- the set-up, how flowers are tastefully arranged, successfully executed themes (the ones that don't go overboard), how good photographers can play with light and textures to show wedding details, blushing brides and nervous grooms just before they take the matrimonial plunge. I appreciate photographers who take time to identify the venues they've covered in their websites and blogs. They enable me to gatecrash other couple's weddings.I applaud couples who go out of their way to personalize their weddings -- it just makes everything more special. It almost sort of gives you an idea how hands-on they will be in their married life, hopefully.

I like weddings so much that I've amassed a collection of wedding magazines and books. Whenever my mood dips, one look and I'm back to normal. It's my substitute for chocolate or a really good dessert. Going through wedding-related blogs and other sites really make my day.

But even if I like weddings, a coordinator I would rather not be. If I attend a wedding, I'd like to savor every minute of it -- not scurry up and about like I do in my day job. I want to appreciate the sights, scents, tastes, the sound of anticipated joy. A creative consultant, puede pa. Of course, I do not claim to be an expert on wedding things -- I'm contented in being just a spectator. Oh well, everyone's a critic.

Rahyan and Meleen's wedding story

You know that feeling like you’ve been looking for someone, really search and yet feel as if that person doesn’t exist? Then just when you lift everything to God and promise not to feel bad just in case his plan for you is not to have a lifetime partner, someone comes along. That’s how I found Rahyan.

Or how he found me.

Or maybe even more accurate, how God planned for us to meet.
I was really at a point in my life that I was ready to live as a singleton for the rest of my days. I went to Baclaran, specifically the Shrine of Our Lady of Perpetual Help regularly, not praying for a partner but rather, praying that if I were to have another relationship, let it be for keeps. Let him be the one God has truly planned for me. At one point, I made an actual list of the qualities I wanted in a lifetime partner and I told God that I will accept no one who can not live up to at least 90% of the things on my list. Guess what, Rahyan had about 95% of those qualities! How else could I go wrong? Rahyan and I met when I joined an acting workshop to which he was the overall head. It wasn’t love at first sight but on one night that he and I got down to talk about life and such after watching would you believe, Finding Nemo, everything fell into place.

August 5, 2003

This was the day that Rahyan and I became a couple. To this day, we both didn't know how it happened, but after watching a movie together for the first time, played with Goddess tarot cards and spilled our past love stories, we simply felt that we clicked. I can really say that I wasn't certain at first about Rahyan's suggestion to become a couple but something in me was really pushing me to do so. You know that "inner voice" thing? You just had to override logic when your heart tells you to do something. And so I did.

February 2004 -- The Proposal

I can't remember exactly how it happened.

There was no hidden string ensemble by the bushes in a fancy restaurant. No flowers. No engagement ring presented on a silver platter or stuck on a little cake.

It was a text message. From me. :-)

Months into the relationship, Rahyan and I would often talk about getting or not getting married. We were starting to wonder if we were both the marrying type or not. I always told him however that marriage is something really sacred to me. Something that is forever. Something that I would never do unless I was really sure whoever I was going to marry was whom God sent for me.

So how did I know it was Rahyan? I just knew.

Check out some of our wedding photos at: http://community.webshots.com/user/meleenr